I am not feeling myself today

 In English we say

I am not feeling myself today

In poetry we say -

Wearing borrowed thoughts like ill-fitting clothes,

Today I am a stranger in my own skin.

My reflection asks questions I cannot answer,

While my laughter sounds like it belongs to someone else.

Searching through empty rooms in my chest for a familiar voice,

I am homesick for a self I cannot find.

My shadow feels unfamiliar maybe even foreign,

Walking half a step behind like it's forgotten how to follow.

Today I am cut off from the anchor of who I thought I was,

Drifting aimlessly through the sands of a fogged up mind.

Overwhelmed staring at an ever growing chasm,

Between yesterday's certainty and tomorrow's distant shore.

___________________________________________

Tried a different writing style where it doesn't matter if the poem rhymes.

Opening style inspired by the poetry writing of Whitney Hanson, where she does begin most of her poems with - In English we say

Goosebumps ;-)

For wifey... :-)


You stand there barely a bit apart
Looking at me with those big eyes
Trying desperately to say something
Your lips shiver slightly in the tries
 
I smile as you keep trying
And then put my finger on your lip
You get my message and relax
I feel your warm breath on the tip

I just keep looking at you
Drinking in your lovely sight
You are my most favorite drink
A crisp yet really smooth delight

I feel your lips stop shivering
A small smile starts to grow
You slowly smile back at me
Your face comes alive with a radiant glow

A smile so wonderfully pleasing
Shinning in its own glory
The goosebumps on your skin hun
They tell me a different story

A flight of fantasy

Sitting at my office cubicle
Working away at a furious pace
I rushed against the deadline
Which laughed about at my face
 
I stretched myself a bit
Trying to relax the muscles
Closed my eyes for a moment
To relieve my self of the hassles
 
I heard a faint humming
To one of my favorite song
I picked up on the track
Together we tried to hummed along
 
My sudden joining did disturb
The pattern of my hummer's song
But then we got on together
Now to us did the tune belong
 
The song ran it due course
And we broke off our little duet
I looked up to see who was it
This songstress whom I haven't met 
 
Was surprised to see her there
The subject of my fancy always
She too was looking at me
Seemingly a bit too dazed
 
And then I smiled
She too smiled back at me
Was this a dream come true
Or a flight of fantasy...

Downstream she went along

Downstream she went along
To find him at his favorite spot
Watching the sun set slowly
While lost in his own thought

She always wondered about him
What is it that he sees there
What draws him to the place
Into the sun why does he stare

She remembered all their talks
Of a future bright and beautiful
The stream flowing by the house
A picture they painted vivid and wonderful

She asked him about his habit
Of sitting downstream every evening
And he would just smile and say
Its the part of their being

So today she sat besides him
And watched the sun go down
And enjoyed the lovely sight it made
Like the stream's end wearing a crown

And then she understood it
All the things he didn't ever say
She felt it with the breeze
And in the way the trees sway

She sighed ever so slowly
Then she sang her favorite song
The smile crept across his face
And downstream they went along

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The origin of was this poem was the most unlikely... Somehow during a chat among friends, we all veered to a discussion about downstream processes and downstream reports.

To break away from the work-related talks, I just took the word 'downstream' and came up with the last paragraph of this poem. Egged on by the positive response of my friends, I made it into a poem :-)

So a big THANK YOU to all my friends, first of all and foremost to HK, the primary source of getting me to stop being lazy and start posting on the blog again. Lady you really rock and truly serve as an inspiration to me everyday. She is working hard to create awareness about Celiac disease in India. You can find more information from her at Celiac Desi

HK also did made this superb pic to put on the blog, which by her own account is also her wallpaper.

P.S. - I don't know to whom the image copyright belongs to. If you happen to know, do convey my regards to the copyright holder and also if you can share the contact details, I would be much obliged.

राजा-राणीची कहाणी ...

राम म्हणाला हळूच सीतेला
तुझा निरोप घ्यायला आलो मी
आजपासून या क्षणानंतर
बदलणार राजा-राणीची कहाणी

सीता दचकून म्हणाली रामाला
असे काय झाले सांगा तरी मला
सुखाच्या ह्या सुंदर क्षणी
बोचले कुठल्या काट्याने आपल्याला

आपला म्हणू नकोस ग राणी
हा माझ्या  कर्माचा भाग आहे
तुला गुंतवणार नाही ह्यात मी
हा माझा सदा ध्यास आहे

तुमचे आणि माझे मार्ग एक आहेत
आपला रस्ता काही वेगळा नसे
तुम्हीच समजवा आता मला
कर्म मग आपले वेगळे कसे?

हे राणी, नको ग छळूस मला
शब्दांचे असे जाळे रचुनी
तुझ्या या प्रश्नांची उत्तरे
देऊ नाही शकत सत्य जाणूनी

पण उत्तर द्यावे प्रश्नांचे
असे वाटले तरी का तुम्हाला
तुम्ही असाल तिथेच मी ही असेन
हेच सांगायचे होते मला

माझी वाट खडतर आणि कठीण
मोठ्या परिश्रमांनी भरलेली
तू हे सगळे का ओढुनी घेतेस
तुझ्या भाग्यात जी नाही लिहिलेली

दुरावा का असा आणिता मध्ये?
तुझे अन माझे भाग्य म्हणुनी
आपण दोघे नाही, एक आहोत
का बरे जाता तुम्ही विसरुनी?

कसे समजाऊ मी तुला?
मी राजा तर काय रंक पण नाही राहिलो
या महालाचा अधिकार सोडूनी
मी वनवासी जाण्यास तयार झालो

तुम्ही वनात न्याल तरीही
येईन खुशाल मी तुमच्या संगती
तुमची साथ असेल मला जिथे
तिथेच सुखे भरभरून वाहती

धन्य धन्य असो तुझी सीते
मी काय बोलू तुझ्या वाचानांपुढे
माझीच हार अन माझीच जीत
विचित्र असे रचीलेस हे कोडे

महालात नसलो जरी आपण दोघे
तरी तुम्हीच माझे राजे आणि मी तुमची राणी
जग आणि वेळ बदलली म्हणून काय झाले
नाही बदलणार ही राजा-राणीची कहाणी

So, I guess am back after a hiatus.

Tried something different for a change. A touch of mythology and my own imagination at work. This was written sometime back during the Navratri festival - the one which ends with Ram Navami. A touch of emotion and a play of words. A bit of my own understanding and inferences.

Had shared it earlier with my pals and they loved it. So sharing it with the world now :-). Your views, comments and feedback are all welcome :-)

Life quote...

Fueled by determination,
Driven by passion,
Geared by optimism,
Accelerating towards excellence...
Euphoria would be an understatement




Had made this quote a few years back... chanced on it again today... so sharing

And then I died...

It happened so suddenly

In the shortest of an instance

The piercing pain ran through my body

Everything faded out at once

Even through the din around there

I could hear you calling out to me

Are you really around me now

Or is it a part of my fantasy

I held on for that one moment

Through every second of pain

Just waiting for you to come

Waiting to hear your voice again

My mouth was open as I tried

To tell you all that I wanted

Of the love felt all this time

Fears of separation which haunted

But as the tears flowed freely

While my voice completely choked

I struggled to tell you everything

All the passions you had evoked 

Cuddled up in between your arms...

My last smile I just smiled

Holding you for that one final time

I smiled and then I ... died....

Ok... first thing... all is normal... 

this poem is more of the things I had felt thought while reading about soldiers and all, their last moments, while they feel that its the end and miss their beloved. Somehow tried to capture the last moments.

 

I can maybe add Shrikanth poem of the homecoming soldier as a reference for here. Some stories, as they say, are not meant to go all the way.

your views on it are welcome :-)

 

Disclaimer - In no way do I wish to even remotely demean the brave soldiers who fight for us in hostile conditions. My best wishes with them always for a long and peaceful life.

Cake quote :-)

A good cake
Is the sign that God loves us 
And wants us to eat and be happy


This quote came over with sms chat with PV.
Then Mini somehow on the same day messaged me saying she is having a cake. 
This quote was also inspired by Priyanka's blogpost - Ultimate Pet Pooja


So, I guess the Universe is conspiring and telling me to go eat a nice cake. 


Sizzling Brownie, hot chocolate and generous scoop of Vanilla ice-cream. Pure pleasure and super delicious awesome delight :-)

Kids or Adults - Quote

Hey,
We are all kids, who walk and talk like adults due to the age factor :-)


this quote came up when I was chatting with Srini who was recently given a Versatile blogger awards :-D


Good going buddy. Keep up to good work :-)

Another quote/saying...Heroes

While chatting with a friend trying to cheer her up a bit, I guess I made up this one

Sometimes we are so busy counting our misfortunes and bad lucks,
That we forget to count our blessings, good lucks, good deeds and our everyday fights, which make us and all others around us - Heroes


well, I am not sure whether I had heard it somewhere earlier and dear Google didn't turn up anything similar :-)

ओल्या आठवणी ...

ओल्या आठवणी


A hunt for a suitable source which might have inspired me to write this poem is still on :-)


खिड़की उघडून उभा राहिलो मी
त्या वार्‍याचे स्वागत करायला
तो ही खुशीत आला धावून जोरात
मित्रासारखा मिठी मारायला

वाटले परत तोच वारा वाहत आहे
वेगात आणि आपल्याच  धुंदीत
मॅन प्रसन्न करत जातो
आठवणींचे गाड जाळे उडवित

पाऊस ही आला मागोमाघ पळत
त्याने ही साथ दिली वार्‍याला
दोन थेंब दिले त्याने हळूच
आठवणीनवरची धूळ पुसायला

वारा पाऊस वाहीले एक संगे
मी ही वाहिलो त्यांच्या संगे
सुगंधी फूलणार्या त्या आठवणीत
शोधतो मी तुला ग सखे

ओलेचिंब भिजून गेलेल्या ह्या अंगी
उब होती तुला जवळ घेण्याची
थरथर अंग कापत होते थंडीने 
पण ओढ होती ह्या मनी प्रीतीची 

एक ती आपली छोटीशी कहाणी अजूनही
मनात घर करून आहे बसलेली
पहिल्या पावसात आपली ती भेट
आणि आपुलकीची घट्ट मिठी मारलेली

हा पाऊस आणि भीजलेली तू पाहून
आज त्या आठवणी आल्या परत
एक झालो ज्यात आपण पहिल्यांदा 
तो रोमांच पुन्हा एकदा जाणवला नकळत...






Well... the transliterations have not been to well received... as someone said... doesn't make sense :-)
and you know the lazy me... so call me up if you need a translation :P
or maybe if you are also feeling lazy to call up... use Google translate... and yeah... do send me the results :-)

time for another quote :-)

Don't judge people by the narrowness of your own mind...


This quote came up after quite a few talks with friends and acquaintances... especially when they seek or share an opinion on someone. The labels and accusations flow a lot more freely than adoration.


We don't know their journey nor their ideas, so best is not to comment about it unless really required :-)

एक फ़ोन कॉल... Ek phone call...

One more poem for you all to enjoy and reflect upon...

For the origin of this poem, When I did think about it nothing came up... the suddenly remembered these lines I had read on the internet... so searched it out and found it... 

Sandeep Salvi – I hope I got the spelling right – wrote

चुकून का होईना 

तू माझी आठवण काढशील 

आठवण काढण्याइतकी 

तरी तू नक्कीच फोन करशील  

I guess these four lines somehow did serve as an inspiration for the poem I wrote below.

एक फ़ोन कॉल... 

आठवण आली का कधी माझी
एक्दातरी तुला या इतक्या दिवसात
पाहिलास का कधी तू तुझा फ़ोन
चाहूल तरी लागली का मनात

साधा मिस्ड कॉल पण नाही आला
या कृत्याने कमी झाला का विश्वास
एक एसेमेस ही नाही त्या इनबॉक्स मध्ये
यावर गुदमरला का कधी श्वास

नंबर तोंडपाठ आजपण असूनही
तो आपण फिरवून पाहत का नाही
काळात हरवलेले ते नाते आपण
जुळवण्याचा प्रयत्न ही करत नाही

कधी आरामात तासन तास बोलायचो
आता एक क्षण पण नाही बोलू शकत
हातात फ़ोन आणि मनात इच्छा असली तरी
कॉल करायचे बटणच नाही दाब्वत

दिसेल का कधी ते नाव परत
कॉलिंग या एका लहान शब्दासंगे
परत फुलतील का त्या जुन्या गोष्टी
ज्याने आपले सर्वस्व खुलून रंगे...

and now following it up with the transliteration :-)

Athavan aali ka kadhi mazhi

Ekdatari tula ya itkya divasat

Pahilas ka kadhi tu tujha phone 

Chahul tari lagli ka mannat

Saadha missed call pan nahi aala

Ya krutyane kami zhala ka vishwas

Ek sms hi nahi tya inbox madhe

yawar gudmarla ka kadhi sawas

Number Tondpaath aajpan asunhi

Toh apan firvun pahat ka nahi

Kalat haravlele te naate apan

Julwanyacha prayatna hi karat nahi

Kadhi aramat tasan taas bolayacho

Ata ek shan pan nahi bolu shakat

Haath phone and mannat icha asli tari

Call karayche buttonch nahi dabvat

Disel ka kadhi te naav parat

Calling ya eka lahan shabda sange

Parat fultil ka tya junya goshti

Jyane aple sarvasva khulun range...

मी म्हणालो सहज तिला...

This poem has a very different origin... PV asked me how do you make poems... I replied give me two words and I will make one as we talk... The first two paragraphs were constructed as we talked on the phone... some days later I remembered this poem an added a few lines more :-)

मी म्हणालो सहज तिला

मजसंगे सखे हसशील का?

खुदकन हसून ती बोलली

तू असाच मला हसवशील का?

माझं मलाच कळले नाही

उत्तर काय देऊ या प्रश्नाला

अन मग मीही तिला बघून हसलो

त्या हास्याची मजा काय सांगू कोणाला?

हसलो दोघे एकमेकांना बघून

आणि परत मनापासून हसायला लागलो

डोळयांनिही मग भान सोडले

आणि आपल्याच हास्यात भिजू लागलो

मी विचारलं - इतकं अस काय बोललो आपण?

ज्यावर ख़ुशी इतकी भरून आली

काय जादू होती की काय त्या शब्दात

की दोल्यांचिही सहज नदी झाली 

वेडा म्हणू तुला की अरसिक रे?

ती अजुनच हसली आणि म्हणाली-

इतकी सरळ सरळ साधी गोष्ट आहे

शब्दांच्या पलिकडे ही बोली गेली...

I will provide the transliteration soon :-)

Made a quote...

Sorrowful are those who know what is love since they are bound by a definition... Blessed are us who just feel and enjoy its presence


This quote came as an inspiration after chatting with one of my best pals, Ashu :-)

You can find more about this rocking lady here - Ashwini's Blog

I too had a Love Story

This is one of the few times I know the source of inspiration for my poem... and surprisingly its not just one but two sources...

One is from the book 'I too had a love story...' You can find it here - Ravinder Singh's - I too had a Love Story

The second source is from Srini's blog post --- Story of a tear drop

Dont ask how this poem originated from the two or what made me do it... that is for you to find out :-)

Read and enjoy...

Did you ever love someone

Truly from your heart's core

And still love didn't get the wings

In pain your heart did roar

I too had a love story once

Of bright day and starry night

Colored in lovely hues of passion

Life seemed like a pleasant sight

Where tear-drops if they came

Were treasured as gems precious

Smiles were always welcome

Indeed they were the most luscious

And yet we drifted apart

A reason no one can say

After a long time our paths met

Brought feelings words don't convey

I looked at her and smiled

She too smiled back at me

And even if smiles played on the lips

A sadness you could still see

Maybe this is not what it is

It's just not meant to be 

A separate me and a different you

It just didn't add up to We.

When I first wrote this poem... I had no idea of the sources... but with multiple requests always for the sources... I tried to come up with some :-)

Of taking a bull by its tail....

I wanted to write something different and crazy... maybe even illogical... or as my friends use the term... illogical logic :-)

Someday I am going to try and take it to an end :-)

Well here goes...

This story involves a powerful, mythological, legendary bull who goes by the name... well some name... this is the preliminary draft start... will come up with something shortly... on with the story...

 Once upon a time in Mumbai... ohh wait Mumbai didnt exist then... ahhh you got to love mythology...

 Once upon a time in a far away land... where chickens crossed the roads without having their motives questioned -  only to be run over by other speeding animals - there lived a bull. He was no ordinary bull... on the contrary... to borrow from Po, the Kung-fu Panda - He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!!! 

 So now that we have established him as the greatest thing since sliced bread - or before Rajnikant if you prefer it that way - lets get on with the story.

 The legendary bull was taking his legendary walk through the park...strutting his stuff at all the cows... well, he is a bull so he is horny... presume an Arnold schwarzenegger physique with the drop dead gorgeous looks of the Twilight vampire... cha ching

wait for some time as I run for cover to protect myself against this charging bull... wild bull in wild imagination... help... 

<creepy silence sequence... now slowly starting of the noise of keyboard keys being hit to form a story>

The bull is very proud of his tail... He swishes it around like a magic wand... Also he uses it as an effective weapon against the deadly armies of flies and mosquitoes... He also takes pride in his precision to really dish it out to those fly by the night armies. This ability of his makes him really popular with the crowd all around.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For now, this is the end of the story... will write the follow soon...

भिजलेले क्षण ...

भिजलेले क्षण ... this poem was written quite sometime back.. around a year ago I guess... rediscovered it today... so sharing here...

This poem is about those wonderful memories and times which have been hiding somewhere in our heads and are etched somewhere in our hearts :-) 

Enjoy

रात्र  घेऊन  आली  इथे,
आठवण  सोबत  तुझी,

मनात  उजड़  येतो  हळूच,
उघडते  स्वप्नांची  नगरी... 

बेभान  होऊनी  वारा,

पळतो  आपल्याच  मस्तीत, 
फुले  पाने  ही  डोलतात, 

स्वतःच्या  वेगळ्या  धुंदीत...

लक्ख  प्रकाश  जरी  असला,

निळ्या  भोर  आकाश  वरती,

पाऊस  येणार  लवकरच,

हूर  हूर  देत  आहे  कुणीतरी....

एकदम  पाऊस  आला  जोरात,
सर्व  भिजू  लागले,

नकळत  माझच  मला,
सग्लं  भरून  ही  आले...

ओलेचिंब  भिजलेले  क्षण,

डोळ्या  समोर  परत  येतात,
फारच  सुंदर  असूनही  ते,
अश्रू  बनून  वाहतात...

and yes... here is the transliteration :-)

Ratra gheun aali ithe,
athvan sobat tujhi,
mannat ujed yeto haluch,
ughadte swapnanchi nagari...

bebhan houni wara,
palto aplyach mastit,
phule panay hi doltat
swatacha veglya dhundhit...

lakha praskash jari asla,
nilay bhor aakasha varti,
paus yenar lavkarch,
Hur hur dete ahe kunitari...

ekdum paus ala zorat,
sarva bhiju lagle,
nakalat mazha malach,
sagle bharun hi ale...

olechimb bhizlele shan,
dolya samor parat yetat,
farch sundar asunhi te,
ashru banun wahatat...


And yes to all my friends and well wishers... thanks for the support and understanding. And also for not repeating the questions :-)

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला ... another poem :-)

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला
आणि तु लगेच या मनात  बसलीस

तोः एकाच क्षण पुरे होता 

जेव्हा तु मला पहिल्यांदा दिसलीस 

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला

तुझे  ते  हसू  नाजूक  अन  गोड 

त्या  ओठांची  जादू  एक  निराळी 

मला  लावून  गेलीस  एक  नवीन  ओड 

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला

आणि  त्या  झ्हुक्लेल्या  नाझारेतून 

तुझे  सुंदर  डोळे  बोलले  मला 

दुरावा कसा आणि का सहन केला अजून 

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला

तू  बसली  होतीस  ठेवून  हातावर हात 

कसला  बारा  तु  इतका  विचार  करतेस 

मला  ही यायचे  आहे  तुझा  त्या  जगात 

फक्त  एकदा  बघितले  मी  तुला 

आणि  त्या  क्षणी  आपले डोळे  मिळाले 

डोळेच  मग  काय  ते  बोलू लागले 

दोघांचेही  हसू  एकदम  फुलून  आले 

फक्त  एकदा  बघितले  मी  तुला 

वाटले हे क्षण कधी  ना संपवावे 

एका  नवीन  कहाणीची  सुरवात  करून 

तुझाच  बरोबर आयुष्य रंगवावे...

This poem is a take on the Love on the first site kind of story... tried putting in a happily ever after scenario at the end of this poem :-)

Currently no woman has served as an inspiration for this poem... so once again its completely based on the imagination.... I wrote two last paragraphs for this poem... the second one is 

फक्त एकदा बघितले मी तुला

वाटले  हा  क्षण  कधी  ना  संपवा 

एका  नवीन  कहाणीची  सुरवात  करून 

तुझाच  बरोबर  हा  परत  जगवा ...

While this was the original ending, I some how found the ending given in the poem better... so changed it... However this ending seems cool too... so thought should share it :-)

Also sharing the English worded version, if you have a problem understanding the Devanagari Script

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Ani tu lagech ya mannat baslis

Toh ekach kshan puure hota

Jeevhav tu mala pahilyanda dislis

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Tujhe te hasu najuk an god

Tya othanchi jaadu ek nirali

Mala lavun gelis ek navin ood

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Ani tya zhuklelya nazaretun

Tujhe sundar dole bolale mala

Durava kasa ani ka sahan kela ajun

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Tu basli hotis thevun hatawar haat

Kasla bara tu itka vichar kartes

Mala hi yayache ahe tujha tya jagat

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Ani tya kshani applay dole milale

Dolech mag kay te bolu lagle

Doghanchehi hasu ekdum fulun aale

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Watle he kshan kadhi na sampvave

Eka navin kahanichi surwat karun

Tujhach barobar aayukshya rangvave

The alternate ending ...

Fakta ekda baghitle me tula

Watle ha kshan kadhi na sampava

Eka navin kahanichi surwat karun

Tujhach barobar ha parat jagava...

Have a good time reading it... and if not already found ... may you find your special one :-)

WTF - garv hai

In my personal bid to make the lovely and widely used 'WTF' accepted in organization talks, here are some of the extensions I came up with ---

WTF --- Well, That's Fantastic

WTF --- Wow, That's fabulous

WTF --- Whoa, That's Fantabulous

WTF --- Well, That's Funny

So all my dear friends, it is my humble and heartfelt request to you, share this treasure with the world and give 'WTF' the place it deserves in our official vocabulary...

Jor se aur garv se bolo --- WTF

P.S. - Your inputs are also most welcome... highly alluring, market capturing and organizational usage motivating extensions will also be featured here soon :)